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AA one for you and your denial,
today i write happy things
or, well, i try. but this is attempt twenty-six
and the twenty-five before are arranged in a butterfly
shape on my floor.
it's not your fault, i suppose
your vaporous sunshine smiles are almost lethal
and i haven't found a way to trap them in jars
without landing in the ICU for a day or two.
it's your cheap shots
that make me weak at the knees
but let's face it,
you know exactly what you do to me
but today, i'll become another girl
one who will leave the lights on for a change,
a girl with badly done French nails
who is happy just for the sake of being happy.
a girl who doesn't need yo


AA 20 sometimes we don't know where we're going
until we get there, and some-
times we don't know what we're losing
until it's too late to snatch it back
or maybe it was 'till it's already gone,
i can never remember it correctly
but you'd always write it on the bath
room mirror almost religiously.
(sometimes i wonder why but then i remember
that it's you that i'm talking about and you
don't need explanations, you just do.
or maybe i'm confusing you with him someone else.
someone who doesn't make my head go in circles with a simple question,
or a simple tone you don't even realize that you use.
[do you?]


AA 29 wishes are like raindrops,
they have absolutely horrible aim
most days and i wonder if
we're just made of glass
and the rain can't see us
until they smack us in the face.
the broken patterns in my head
are never what they seem,
you were never really poetic,
love was just love and
a cigar is just a cigar
and the next time we fight,
because we always do,
you may leave my heart out of things,
but that doesn't really matter to you.
i could never snap my fingers,
or make poetry look like anything less
than a pile of blender rejected pieces.
you remind me of someone beautiful,
and conversations i used to have with a girl
named allison, s
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